John: Yeah, why can't we have a dog. Tell us why! Tell us why we can't have a dog. We'd pay for a lot of it. We'd do a lot of it. I don't understand what the problem is.
Me: You know what the problem is. We have talked about this before.
John: OK, what's the problem?
Me: We go away too much to have a dog. What would we do with a dog when we went away?
John: Lizzy and Aaron could take it.
Me: Well, I don't know that they would, but let's just say they weren't around. What would we do with it then?
John: Suzi and Matty could take care of it.
Me: Suzi and Matty are moving to Oregon in a few weeks.
John (after a pause): Do we really have no other friends?
Me: Uh, yeah, not really - around here anyway.
Grace: It wouldn't be a problem for John Michael and Cosima.
Me: Do you mean that they could take the dog?
Grace: Yes.
Me: Grace, they live in Canada. That is a little too far away.
John: Well, I am sure that we could figure it out.
John: Why else can't we have a dog?
Me: They stink.
John: So?
Me: And they get hair everywhere.
John: So?
Me: A puppy would chew up all of the things that you guys leave lying around the floor. Toys, shoes, you name it.
Both kids: We would clean everything up.
Me: All the time. You would keep the floor completely clean?
Both kids: YES.
Me: Yeah, right. I don't believe you for a minute.
Me: Dogs also cost a lot.
John: How much?
Me (googling): Between $700 and $3,000 per year.
John: We can pay for a lot of that. You could give us a sheet of paper every year that says how much we need to give so that we can have a dog.
John: How much would a dog cost to buy?
Me: About $1,500
John: Hmmmm.
John: That's the kind of thing my $50 in the bank is for.
Grace, meanwhile is emptying out her piggy bank to show me how much money she is willing to contribute (apparently all that she has).
John: Grace, that is nowhere near enough money to get a dog!
Grace: Is that enough?
Grace (starting to weep): I really want a dog.....
Grace (after a couple of minutes): Mummy, could you see how much my money is?
Grace (after a few more minute): Could we PLEASE get a dog. PLEASE? Please please please.
John: Ohhhhwwwwwwwwnh
Grace: Please please please, just ever.
John (a few minutes later): I wish we had a dog.
Grace: Me too. I wish, wish, wish.
Grace: I wish, I wish, I wish we could have a dog.
Me: Grace, why do you want a dog?
Grace: Because.
John (grumpily): I think she needs a real answer Grace.
Grace: Because I like dogs very, very, very much. And it is fun to take care of them.
Me: How do you know it is fun? You have never taken care of a dog.
Grace: Well, I do feed John Michael and Cosima's dogs.
John: And you do take them for walks.
Grace: Yes.
Me: Grace what is it that you like so much about dogs?
Grace: Everything.
Me: Big dogs or small dogs?
Grace: Bowf, but small dogs are better.
Me: Why?
Grace: Because they're cuter!
Me: Yeah, but big dogs have better personalities.
John: Yeah, but little dogs are still cute.
Grace: Wewl, big dogs can shake more fur down.
John: Yeah, but it sounds fun cleaning up dog fur.
Grace: Wewl, they clean up under the table for you...
John: Yeah, we wouldn't have to use the swiffer so much.
Me: You would have to use the swiffer MORE to clean up all the dog hair.
John: Yeah, but the hard job of cleaning up under the table would be done.
Grace: Yeah, and we could take pictures of our dog and send them to people...
John: Grace! You don't know that we are going to get a dog!
Me: John, what do you think is better, a big dog or a small dog?
John: Small dog!
Me: Why?
John: I like small dogs, they're cute, they don't put as much fur down on the ground, and I just like 'em more.
Me: John, what do you think it would be so fun to do with a dog?
John: It would be fun taking care of it. It would be fun throwing balls for it. It would be fun taking it on walks. It would be fun petting it.
Grace: And we'll have to get a dog gate.
John (sharply, but secretly hopeful): Grace! We're not getting dog.
Grace (hopefully): I don't think that we're getting a dog.
John (grumpily): But I still don't understand why we can't get a dog. You still haven't answered this question properly.
Grace (happily): And I like dogs so much so much so much.
Me: Grace, do you know that Daddy - and I - don't really like small dogs much?
Grace (happily): We'll get a big dog then.
John: Grace, we're NOT getting a dog.
Grace: IF we get a dog.
Grace (ten minutes later, almost to herself): I really want a dog. That's all I want. More than a cookie even. More than anyfing. I just want a dog. A dog.
Grace (to me): Just PLEASE!
Grace (giving me kisses on the top of my head: Just please, please, please can we have a dog. Just PLEEEEAAAAASSE! Please! Please! PLEASE!
Me: Why a dog? Why not a cat or a hampster or a gerbil or a fish?
John: We can't get a cat, 'cause you're allergic to cat skin. Because a dog is what we like most of all - but we're OK with most of those things.
Grace: I will get any pet. But what I want best is a cat, but you're allergic to cats, so a dog!
Me: Whhaaaatttt? A cat?
John: We like any pet. We like any pet. It's just we like dogs best.
Me: Grace, I've never seen you interested in cats.
Grace: I am. I just never see them. I look at cats all the time....and they look back at me.....aaaanddd.....then they go away. I like fish, I like a gerbil, I like a hamster....The one problem with hamsters is their wheels squeak.
John: And we could take our pets on the airplane with us.
John: Like those dogs we saw on our way to Arizona.
Me: That was very unusual. People don't usually take their pets on airplanes with them - only usually when they are moving. And the pets normally have to go in the baggage hold. Can you imagine how scary that is for them?
John: Very scary.
Grace: Well we could just not go anywhere.
Me: Guys, we WANT to be able to travel with you.
John: What about Bear?
Me: Our next door neighbor?
John: Yes. We could leave our pets with them.
Me: We hardly know them...And if they wanted pets they would have them.
Grace: Well, all animals have heart attacks.
Me: Whaaat?
Grace: ALL animals have heart attacks.
Me: And think about the poor dog, and how it would feel to be left for a week. Think about how upset Cosima's dogs get when she leaves for a few hours. Can you imagine how upset they would be if she left for a WEEK?
John: Other animals might not need their owner, to not bite and things.
Grace: Mmmmnnnhhhh! I just want ONE pet! Ooooohhhwwnnnhhhh!
Me: I am willing to listen to what you say. I am willing to consider it. But that doesn't mean that I am going to agree. I think that there are a lot of good reasons to not have a pet.
John: Like what?
Grace (angrily): Like blah, blah, blah.
Me: Look, it is a really big responsibility. You are taking total responsibility for the life of another being. When you get a puppy it is cute and exciting and new and everything about it seems like fun. But as time goes on, the novelty wears off and -
Grace: You have a dog!
Me: Yes, you have a dog. And it isn't as exciting anymore -
John: It's MORE fun.
Me: But you still have to do all the same work. The dog needs to be fed, and walked every day, no matter how cold or rainy. When the dog gets sick it is your job to take care of it. If the vet says the dog needs a very expensive surgery you just need to find a way to pay for it. It needs to be bathed and brushed. And all of that for like 14 years. It never stops. And you can't just say you are tired of it. And when the dog gets old and starts to die, you need to nurse it until it dies. And that can be quite horrible. And where are you going to be John in 14 years when the dog is old and dying?
John: I dunno, in high school?
Me: No, you will be in college. Just as the dog is getting old and really hard to care for you will be off in college, leaving me to deal with it.
John: Yeah, well Grace will be around.
Me: And dogs smell.
Grace: So what.
Me: They smell like poop.
Grace: So what.
Me: It's gross. And you have to clean up poop after the dog.
John: We'll do that. That is a big part of taking care of a dog. We will totally do that. All the time.
Me: And they cost a lot of money.
John: We will pay for a lot of it.
Me: As much as a contribution from you would be valuable and important, it is still only a small amount of what Daddy and I would need to spend.
John: I'd pay a lot. I have a lot of money.
Grace: So do I.
Me: A puppy would ruin all of your stuff. You guys leave everything lying around all the time and I need to shout at you to ever get you to clean it up.
John: We would keep our room clean.
Grace: Yeah.
Me: Well I can see that you are thinking a lot about this, but I think that it is very easy to say that you will clean up and keep things tidy, but a lot harder to actually do it. And when you have a dog not only will you need to keep things clean, but you will need to care for the dog as well. I would really need you to show me now that you can keep your stuff tidied.
John: But I just want you to BELIEVE me!! Why won't you just BELIEVE me?!
Me: I believe that you believe that you will do those things. But from my experience it is a lot harder to stick to something like that. If you can show me that you are responsible enough to keep your stuff clean every day, then Daddy and I will consider getting you a dog.
John (with angry tears): But I will! Why won't you just believe me? You are not even saying that you WILL get us a dog, just that you will CONSIDER it!!!
Me: That's right. That is the cost of my consideration. If you want me to consider getting you a dog, then you have to show me that you are able to be responsible by happily and consistently keeping your stuff clean.
John: But I WILL keep it clean!
Me: Then you should be happy to show me that by doing it now. It is a habit, and you may as well develop it now. Because if we had a dog then you couldn't stop anyway. You would have to still find time to keep things clean, on top of all the other things you would need to do for the dog.
John (absolutely furious): Aaaarrrrgghhhh!!!! I would do it! But I don't want to do it NOW!!!
John (angrily noticing what I am doing): Grace, she is writing a blog post about this. And I don't want her to. I don't like it.
Grace: Me neiver.
Me: Well guys, it is clear to me that this is important to you, and I want you to know that I am taking you seriously. So I think that we should share this conversation with the people who are important to us. Perhaps they will contribute to the conversation, helping you to understand why I think it is a bad idea to get a dog...and perhaps they will advocate on your behalf.
John: Yeah, OK.
As you can see, the kids have been in love with my brother's dogs for years.
6 comments:
Big post for a big question.
-Dad, who cannot comment further at this time
Do Cosima and John Michael know about this latest blog? Maybe, they will have some input as they have so much experience in caring for dogs.
papa d.
I am with the kids!!!! Get a small dog - believe me you will learn to LOVE it. My vote is for a mini schnauzer!!!!
Grandma
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! Auntie Ah thinks you will regret posting for input-You should TOTALLY GET A DOG!!!!!
if your parents think it's a good idea, of course.
John and noodle-advice just for you--gabby stop reading...will, you too--no reading.
Now, you two kiddos: make a deal with your parents. be like big kids who make agreements or like lawyers who make contracts. Show them that you can clean your room every night before you go to bed for one whole month. like REALLY clean. and go outside every morning for ten minutes (WITHOUT BEING LATE FOR SCHOOL) to show that you can handle the responsibility of having a dog....THEN they won't have as many bad things to say about getting a dog because you'll have proven them wrong! I KNOW you can do it!
How about you borrow one of our dogs and see what living with a dog is REALLY like?
I agree with your Mom on this one. It is a lot of work and you grow so very attached to these furry creatures and any time you neglect them they feel sad and give you those puppy dog eyes.
I don't agree with them smelling like poop though, LOL. My dogs are super clean and don't shed. Parker just barks a lot whcih can wear on your nerves a bit. Give it more thought, there is no rush right?
How about you borrow one of our dogs and see what living with a dog is REALLY like?
I agree with your Mom on this one. It is a lot of work and you grow so very attached to these furry creatures and any time you neglect them they feel sad and give you those puppy dog eyes.
I don't agree with them smelling like poop though, LOL. My dogs are super clean and don't shed. Parker just barks a lot whcih can wear on your nerves a bit. Give it more thought, there is no rush right?
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